Circa Faith: Your Magic Doesn't Work On Me

It happened somewhere around a challenge...

The challenge of God's power vs. will power...

A male-friend asked me how long it has been since I had sex. When I told them that it was since 2013, of course the look of shock showed all over their face and then this immediately went into a challenge about my will power vs. God’s power to be able to keep me.

I humbly made the declaration of, “I’m able to keep myself because men’s magic doesn’t work on me.”

When I first got saved the one thing God did for me was build up my self-worth from all of the terrible and useless relationships that I had with men prior to my salvation. Now all of those relationships weren’t useless, but after being with men and giving up your body you tend to lose something along the way. God had to show me who I was in him and that I have to own the beauty and gift that he made me to be.

I know my body is precious and the pearl between my legs is even more precious, actually it’s priceless and the only way you can afford it is by the purchase of the blessing of God and through the covenant of marriage. This is not some post of women’s power and self-exaltation, but just a woman walking in who God created her to be. So when I keep my body it’s not because of my own will, but because of God’s power.

At the core of my being I don’t want to sin against God. I have no desire to commit fornication.

But do I want to be wanted and desired? Yes. Do I want to be in the company of a man who feels some type of way about me? Yes. I would be lying to myself, and all of y’all, if I said that I didn’t want a friendship/companionship/connection/relationship with a member of the opposite sex. But in this lust driven world I know that type of relationship is nearly impossible. I’m willing to call you baby and be affectionate toward you, but I don’t have a desire to commit any immoral sexual behavior.

So, no, there will be no oral sex. No, I don’t want to masturbate. No, I don’t want to have sex with you and repent later because “God will understand.” And my opinion is no, he won’t understand because doing so is the equivalent to premeditated murder in my mind…

My desire is truly that my HUSBAND be the one getting this precious jewel, which God said that my price was far above rubies. I don’t want just anybody in and out of my body. I don’t need all of these strange men in me. We face enough things in life, why add the headache of one failed relationship after the other and the feelings of insecurity that is left behind after you’ve given your body to a man who only faked loved you to leave you? I’m good…

Do I still have some things to work out in my flesh when it comes to contact with the opposite sex? Of course. But I must repeat… yo’ magic doesn’t work on me.

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