It happened somewhere around my aunt's wedding...
I know some people think Black people are always so extra. They probably even wonder why we always have to highlight our Black experiences: #blackgirlsrock, #blackgirlmagic, #blacklivesmatter, #blackboyjoy, #blackgirlpassion (my fav), and a new one I’m introducing #BLACKLOVEMAGIC!
This past weekend, Sunday, June 24, 2018, my aunt got married to the love of her life. Sunday also happened to be my 36th birthday (insert an image of me doing my birthday twerk). I don’t know if it was because of my birthday that had me so emotional or because I could just really feel the love – maybe it was both. But witnessing this marriage made me cry the most beautiful tears of joy. Gosh, their entire wedding theme was love… no, literally it was love with a 1920s flair.
Want to know what their nicknames for each other are? It’s not bae, or boo, or baby. Their nicknames for each other is Love. The wedding invites deck out in the 1920s themed writing, mixed with an essence of the Black Renaissance, stated we were invited to “A Great Love Affair”!!! *swoon*I couldn’t help but be moved by this. I couldn’t help but think about my own special someone, whom I love and pray that we get married one day, but it’s complicated…
Black love made India Arie sing lyrics like, “He is the truth, said he is so real. And I love the way that he makes me feel. And if I am a reflection of him, then I must be fly because his light shines so bright, I wouldn’t lie.” “And even the things I don’t like about him is fine with me. It’s not hard for me to understand him because he’s so much like me.” When I think of my love, these lyrics describe him perfectly.
Black love is magical! The essence of it rings a delightful breath of fresh air. We’ve been fighting for Black love for a very long time now. Black love is what kept us strong during times of slavery. Black love, no matter how dysfunctional back in the day, did keep families together. Although the media and television networks only gave us a few chances to celebrate Black love on the small and big screens, it was highly celebrated in our music. The era of the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s were the quintessential years of Black love in music. I think the 70s and 90s were the absolute best. In the 70s panties were just dropping at the voices of Marvin Gaye, The Isley Brothers, Donnie Hathaway, Rose Royce and so many others. And let’s not forget the 90s! Ohhhhhh baby, 90s r&b was a decade like no other! You didn’t even have to have sex in the 90s, just cut on any love song, and you got pregnant!
So you want to know why in this new millennium we are so extra about Black love? Because somewhere down the line when Cash Money was taking over for the 99 and the 2000s, we lost our essence of Black love. Our songs no longer were love songs. We started celebrating ratchetness. The exploitation of the demise of Black love was displayed on reality TV. We wanted to see the love triangles of basketball wives (girlfriends) and have love and hip hop wars. It seemed like we wanted to keep the narrative of the Black single-parent household alive. Someone wanted to paint in our eyes that a complete, whole Black family didn’t exist anymore.
But oh my, Black Twitter emerged, and the Black Love hashtag was born. Michelle and Barack became our Black love spokespersons, and we shed light that it does exist. Beyonce and Jay are telling us Everything is Love, they took their vows seriously and are not letting anyone control the narrative of their marriage. When people told Bey to leave her man, the power couple chose to remember the vows of for better and for worst and went to counseling to fix things. That’s Black love.
So again, why are we so extra about it? The culture desperately needs us to be extra about it. The culture needs us to be enthralled by the magical force that is Black love. It’s a force that pulls energy into the atmosphere that makes you feel like a soft, romantic melody on a breezy summer night. That makes you feel the sensational, satisfying, euphoria of your beloved kissing your wet lips stained by your tears after having a cathartic tearful release. We’re extra about because it’s been silenced for too long. Its voice must ring out loud so that the world knows that our love is alive and thriving and it’s the most beautiful thing this side of heaven.
Share your Black love with the hashtag #blacklovemagic