Circa Soul: Pushing Weight

It happened somewhere around 234lbs...

When you’re overweight or have a little extra fluffiness, do you know how much upper body strength it takes to have your shoulders back, stomach in, and not allow your body to just flop all over the place sloppy in order to have the appearance of an elegant walk? And don’t get me started on wearing heels. Pushing around and carrying weight is not easy.

Being a woman is not easy. Some days I think I’m one bummy ensemble away from a friend or family member doing an intervention and putting me on the TV show What Not To Wear.

In all seriousness, I have been trying to lose weight for about 3 years now (but not really). I get down a few pounds and then eat my way back up to weight gain by indulging on Baskin Robbins’ ice cream every Tuesday with my son. I don’t mind being thick and pleasantly plump, but at times when I can’t wear an outfit because I feel it is unflattering on me it reminds me of how much I’m out of shape.

But I’m a realist most days, I recognize I can’t complain about my weight if I’m not doing anything about it. But it’s hard trying to lose weight when you haven’t made up in your mind to be committed to losing the weight. On my birthday in June of this year I had gotten down to 209 lbs. Today I got on the scale and I’m back up to 234… *sigh*

The areas I don’t like on my body are my love handles and stomach, my fat arms, back fat, and the turkey that resides on my neck. I’m trying to figure out what it will take for me to take my health seriously. Why isn’t being unhappy with what I look like enough to get me motivated? Humans are some strange creatures.

If you’ve lost weight in the past or currently on a weight loss journey, how did you get motivated? I’m declaring earnestly for 2018 that I will finally lose all of this weight. This is not a vanity thing, it’s a health thing. When you’re out of shape and unhealthy you can feel it – EVERYWHERE! I have sciatic nerve issues because of the extra weight I’m carrying in my mid-section and back. Why isn’t the pain I experience everyday enough to make me get my life together when it comes to losing weight??? #foolish

One of my things I’ve decided to start doing is to learn the choreography to music videos. I hate working out, it’s just not fun to me. So if I’m going to do any aerobic activity I have to make it fun, otherwise I would dread doing it.

You want to join me in losing weight?

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