It happened somewhere around my edges...
One morning I was running late for an event. I was getting ready to run out the house until I remembered that I didn’t lay my edges down nor filled in my eyebrows. I quickly scurried to the bathroom and filled in my eyebrows, then grabbed my edge control. As I looked in the mirror, I sighed and said, “Sis, leave my edges alone.”
Who in the heck was I talking to? It’s funny now, but I guess I was talking to whoever in my mind I knew would judge me at the event when they saw my unruly edges. I was talking to the girl who was probably going to bump her friend and say, “Girl, why didn’t she lay those edges down before she came out the house?” I was talking to the woman who may see me in pictures from the day on social media and think to herself, or even say out loud, “She needs to slick those edges down.”
In the Black community… You know what? I’m not even going to generalize this to just Black women, I’m going to say as women as a whole we are so judgmental of one another. We are so quick to point out the flaws of another person before we even dare to lift them up.
I have to even check myself because I know I’m guilty. I may not have shared a post on my social media but I’m sure I’ve screenshotted something and sent it to a friend giving my opinion. For me that’s not OK.
Mean girls are whack! If I’ve ever had a mean girl moment, I was whack then, too. We’re so driven by the version of beauty that’s we believe is acceptable: long hair, good and curly natural hair, slick edges, perfect eyebrows, proportionate curves, and the list can go on and on. The minute we see someone with anything out of place we’re so quick to call someone out on that. I’ve observed it all, and again I’m not going to leave myself out of this because I have been guilty of judging my fellow sister.
I remember seeing a post about a celebrity who is a part of the BBW (big beautiful woman) club posting on social media with her man (I believe they were engaged). I remember reading the comments of people talking about her and how overweight she was. At the time, all I could think about was that she was successful, rich, and had a man – more than what I had at the time, and I’m sure a whole lot more than what most of the haters were saying in the comments.
We do all kinds of shaming on social media that I’m wondering why do people even risk the ridicule. We fat shame, body shame, man shame, mother shame, hair shame, wig shame, and makeup shame to name a few. We shame everything but the devil – especially us so-called Christians.
We talk about everything except what’s really going on with us. We point out so many issues that are wrong with others that I wonder if the blanket was pulled back off our mess what would be revealed?
I’m not trying to come off as Captain Save ‘Em, or the voice for the less fortunate, but I just want us to be aware of how we treat one another. As a Christian woman I know I’m called to love, and I’m definitely not loving if I’m making light of other people’s issues or inability to produce what I consider to be beautiful.
I live in the real world so I know my post is not going to change the world. But I wanted to call awareness to myself to ensure that I’m spreading love and not negativity. We have enough things to deal with in this world and I just don’t want to be one to tear down my own. I no longer subscribe to that.
I love women, especially Black women. I think we’re the most beautiful part of God’s creation next to the galaxies. I come to understand that some people are doing the best that they can, and even those who believe they are rock stars at what they’re doing (against popular opinion) I’m going to choose to keep my mouth shut. While others push Sis away, I’ll choose to embrace her. Hey Sis, you can sit with me.